bait berita.

Masa jatuh dahulu,

Aku putuskan terus segala bait berita dia yang selalu muncul di paparan utama laman sosial.

Hingga kini aku percaya itu adalah keputusan terbaik.

Paling terbaik untuk ubat luka dan minda.

Minda kembali tenang, luka sudah sembuh biarpun berparut,

Kini hadir cahaya, aku gembira.

Biarpun malap, tapi hati aku suka.

Hari ini, aku buka kembali bait berita yang aku putuskan dahulu.

Dengan harapan, untuk menjenguk khabar,

sihatkah? makin waraskah?

Tidak.

Terus minda aku jadi gila.

Gila kerana bait katanya yang langsung tidak berubah.

Mesejnya tajam, cuba untuk menunjukkan rasionaliti,

Namun bahasanya kejam, seperti hilang pedoman.

Setiap perkataan pantas membidas kenyataan entah siapa yang tidak seiring dengannya.

'meroyan'

tapi dalam realiti, bukankah engkau pun begitu?

Terus aku terbayang suara kecil tinggi menyakitkan telinga.

Pantas aku tutup kembali bait berita dia.

Sebelum aku jadi gila.

Gila bukan kerana gilakan dia,

Takut penyakit gila berjangkit daripada dia.

adil.

Kadang-kadang tuhan tarik rezeki, dan beri pada yang lain.
untuk kita lihat dan sedar kembali apa yang hilang.



Aku harap aku diberi peluang.

upside down inside out.

I still remember the days when two of my friend, a couple.
fall in love, formed a formidable team, shares great chemistry,
survived two university phase together, looked like they're moving on to the next level and

then separated.

Until now I didn't see any reason why they should be, after all, they're my best friend.

I didn't know the whole story, so I just assume it's fate.

Today, both of them live a different set of life, different place, maybe different style of thinking too.
but I believe they're still the same person inside.

As a spectator from a far, I can only say, I miss our time together, as friends, embarking a journey doing assignments, exploring the unknowns, setting a dream that still today seems hard but not impossible.


I learned that, no matter how well u plan and tried to protect some things,
it can eventually turns otherwise.


You can never predict life.

terima.

when the time is right,
you will bring up that topic,
and you will ask me the ultimatum.

if things turns out bad, you will leave.

and when you leave, I promise to myself, that I will start to go out around the world,
and heal this heart.


until then, I will be prepared.

distance.

first problem, distance.

With too much things falls on me day by day, I often neglected the soul I should prioritize most.

I guess, no matter how strong one's heart is, distance could break 'em.
If it couldn't break, it will make em' fragile, unable to hold any misses anymore.

scary thought haunts,
the heart's haunted.

Hope everything will be okay,
I can't wait to repay all my debts when we met again.

pegangan.

"Hidup berlalu terlampau pantas."

quote yang sememangnya sudah banyak kali aku guna.

Tapi itulah kebenaran.

Cuma kali ini, kebenarannya tampak lebih jelas.

Dulu hidup semasa belajar,

misi dari hari ke hari ialah untuk mengalami perkara baru,

tidak mengapa tergelincir, janji pengalaman dirasa.

Pergi ke kelas, balik dari kelas, tidur.

Hidup aman, nyenyak, meskipun dibelenggu kerja rumah,

tapi, kerja rumah hanya masalah hujung semester,

selepas itu, kembali tidur, 

menikmati masa, bersama rakan alami kemeriahan hidup.

Kini, semua berubah,

hidup dari hari ke sehari membanting tulang,

untuk menikmati faedah lumayan yang sedapnya dirasa tidak lebih dua minggu.

Segala risiko diambil, bakal mengubah masa depan.

Reputasi perlu dijaga, supaya mulut orang tidak berbunyi bising.

Pengalaman dialami lebih besar, dan lebih berharga.

Tetapi untuk meraih ilmu daripada pengalaman sebegitu, korban tenaga begitu banyak.

Rakan, berubah dimensi.

Yang lama semakin mengambil haluan baru.

Tapi tidak bermakna terpisah, cuma jarang melekat.

Suasana riuh, kini sepi.

Hanya tinggal memori...

... dan pegangan yang masih kuat,

untuk mengejar mimpi.

buang masa.

Kadang-kadang,
bila aku hanyut dek kerana keinginan dan sifat terlalu teruja.

Aku renung kembali masa lalu yang gelap,
menyumpah seranah seorang diri,
memikirkan betapa bodohnya diri mengabdikan diri,
membazirkan masa, membuang tenaga,
kepada sesuatu yang tidak pasti...

... yang jelas tidak tahu apa erti syukur dan saling menghargai.

Aku pernah fikir, adakah dunia ini begitu tipikal?
Indah dihargai, meskipun isinya buruk.

Kemudian aku diam,
sumpah seranah berhenti,
perasaan syukur mula timbul,
kerana jika tidak ditemukan dengan entiti yang sebegitu,
aku tidak akan belajar.

Aku tidak akan belajar.

Erti sia-sia, Erti hidup.

Aku pandang kembali ke masa hadapan,
cuba mentafsir dugaan dan ujian satu persatu,
dengan bekal pengalaman.

Aku harap ia tidak berulang,
jika ia berulang sekalipun, aku harap ia tidak seteruk dahulu.

Bangkit.

khayal.

Ia seperti dadah,
sekali dicuba, bangkit keinginan untuk terus mencuba.

Ia seperti dadah,
masa terasa lama,
keadaan persekitaran terus tidak dipedulikan,
yang penting, hanyalah apa yang terjadi ketika itu.

Senyum, tawa, suasana terasa indah,
seperti esok tidak ada.

Ia seperti dadah,
selepas saatnya berakhir,
peristiwa terus kekal bermain di minda,
akal dan hati berkonflik,
hal dunia dirasakan tidak penting.

Ia seperti dadah,
tetapi tidak upaya untuk membunuh,
cuma mampu menyeleweng.

Gunanya akal, untuk mewaraskan hati.
supaya tidak taksub.

Agar dadah, tidak bertukar menjadi nasi basi.
indah bertukar jemu.
tawa bertukar hiba.

favor

To be favoured,

is not my usual day to day experience.

Even in my closest circle, 

I find myself,

the least fond members by most...

...well, that's what I think..

and that might be true.

I know,

Even though I tend to lose focus on what's going on after 3 minutes.

I'm quite observant on my own way.

but its okay,

because I'm used to it..

and maybe also because,

I kind of...

...do the same thing towards the others too..

Karma, is a bitch.

move.

Frustration and failure cause us to be careful of every steps we made.
last week, I entered a familiar world, a lifestyle whom I left not so long ago.

There's shadows and image everywhere,
replays and mimics things I've done with a person before..
.. and that cause me to be more careful, to not thrown deeper into my own feelings,
only to be left out, under appreciated and again frustrated.

slow and steady, this time.
I'll take my time.

Exploring one by one,
discovering things day by day,
building it, slowly, bricks by bricks.

The shadows will not gone,
it is a valuable lesson.

Steps by steps,
Slowly, carefully..
... forward I go,

falls head first.

To kill oneself, over an issue,
is a stupid move.
come on, if you can think to jump,
and end life, just like that...

then why don't you just do something with great risk?
invest big on something new?
climb a mountain with dangerous peak?
do something that will guarantee you a 70% death?

at least you are doing something fun/thrilling/scary.
it's not like you're afraid to die ain't you?


though, I believe some people couldn't stand up on their own,
but it does not mean you need to bear and be hurt yourself?
find a friend,
change.

since you're thinking of killing yourself.
why don't you just try,

it's not like you're afraid of anything ain't you?



ps: I might be high.

earn.

To prove people wrong,

is the best feeling ever.

I'm not gifted with the best looks and talents,

but I am on my way to use what I have,

to reach the stars.

The best player, is a person who are capable of using whatever he/she have in hands,

and turn it onto something beautiful, meaningful, profitable even.

and yes, I'm on my way to master that.

ps : oh yea, yesterday marks the anniversary of this blog first post, lots of things happen afterwards. When I read back the first post, I'm unsured of who is the writer of this blog, but then, time changes people, changes me,

though I still believe there are grammatical errors hidden somewhere in this post.

pick.

They say, follow the flow..

.. and things will come pick you up, one by one.

Then life will show you the way, guides you to the correct path it believe.

But ,

what if things aren’t that simple?

What if there’s like a monster and scoundrels come haunting you all the way..

Lingering around your thoughts every time you decide to decide a decision?

Living a life is a risk,

And this is a risk I’m willing to take..

Not that I’m going to die anyway.

critics.

Some people can only do critics,

but they can't do things that they criticize on.

It's okay to give opinions full with suggestion and stating flaws positively.

but to bash and criticize using harsh words, is an evil thing to do.

attraction.

Looks is everything, at first.


after that, personality and situation takes the crown.

distracted.

Everytime I'm distracted, and forget who I am, and who I was..
I will sit down, keep my calm,
and remember...

... the reason why I chose this path.

ghostly past.

A long time ago,

after a pathetic heartbreak, I told myself.

"you need to man up, study, chase your dreams, and reach the stars"

After a few years, came a distraction.

I forgot,

and carried away.

Today, I stumble upon a ghost.

Still the same.

not all has changed since last we met.

and that smile.

melts.

It's like she didn't age.

and suddenly I remember my vow.

I've done my study, but still chasing my dreams,

blindly chasing.

and haven't reach the stars.

freezed.

I have a problem,

despite my job,

I'm a bit socially awkward.

I tend to be quiet with people I don't know..

I don't usually be like 

'hey how are you?'

'today is hot eh?'

'tak balik lagi?'

dah makan?'

I thought those lines were silly, and too mainstream.

and because I couldn't come up with something better,

staying quiet is the best choice.

I need an igniter,

people who just spit out those mainstream lines,

so that I can connect and engage a conversation with them.

Today,

while waiting for a recording tape,

I tried to engage in a conversation with a lady,

and like usual,

I failed to think of a pickup lines  conversation starter.

gotta man up next time.

and maybe use those mainstream silly lines for a try.

Pray

Bashing an institution through a social media...
couldn't help all the innocent people being tortured over there.

Pray.

or go there, help them survive.

Sheesh, and I can only talk.

Stripes.

Often I thought about my future.
Will people recognize me when I'm dead?
Will I be able to stamp a mark in this life?

and be remembered?

I need to make a name for myself on this planet before I'm gone.

loser.

losing things,

is not what I am aiming for ...

but in order to win, 

we must first taste defeat.

taken for granted.

It's sad to see something that you've sacrificed with your whole heart,

is taken by granted.

no appreciation.

but above that, it's much sadder to see something similar but less spectacular gets the credit.

so sad.

so sad.

lesson learned.

the best thing..

I'm not a journalist who often travel hunting for stories every week,

due to visual editorial work, I couldnt.. yep.

but so far, the best thing about being a journalist is..

you can see and experience things ordinary people couldn't.

despite the harsh reality of its small pay and uncertain working hours,

that is what keep me going..

"can you see yourself still working here in 10 years time?"

I could not promise you that, but for the moment, 

yeah, this is the place I'm most suitable.

ps: andd I need to buy a smartphone-lah.

the truth is ..

I didn't really recover..

image

So do we need to project a good self image to be accepted?

if so then, what kind of good self image is to be accepted?

time is gold.

"This workplace is like a broken time machine, it goes fast forward to the future, not back to the past.

don't be too indulged with your job, find other attachment too.

because if you don't, soon you will realize you're hitting 40 +, without anyone besides you yet"



tapi boss.. saya baru 7 bulan masuk kerja....

open up.

is not something I can do,
I'm not the person who just sit and throw all of my important personal story on anyone.
just ask anybody who close to me,

"ego dia sebesar lautan"

and that's the kind of answer you shall receive.




The statement is right, and also wrong at the same time.

refleksi.

Semua mahukan yang sempurna sebagai partner.
expectation pula bermacam-macam.
tapi diri sendiri bagaimana?
menepatikah expectation sang partner?
sempurnakah diri? sudah cukup ilmu?
harta? stabilkah emosi?


aku belum.

"When you smile, the corners of your mouth curve up and you sometimes show your teeth. People smile when they are pleased or amused, or when they are being friendly.  "

...or when they are being friendly.

salam.

"hah! maksud iftar tu pun tak tahu? apa punya meleis lah"



pada aku, muslim, atau individu yang baik, adalah mereka yang menerangi jalan bagi mereka yang jahil dengan niat suci,
dengan penuh senyuman.

bukan dengan perli, dan juga kutukan.

apa salahnya jika orang kurang berpengetahuan itu bertanya?
bukankah elok jika kamu suluhkan ilmu kepada dia, terangkan dengan baik.

bukan mengejek, dan memperlihatkan kepada orang ramai tentang kejahilan dia.
bagaimana mahu memperlihatkan sisi islam yang baik pada umum jika kita sendiri berperangai begini?

salam.

tahniah warganegara Malaysia.

kerana kebanyakan kamu berfikiran positif terhadap atlet yang kalah berjuang.

betapa bangganya aku kepada Dato LCW, bangga lagi aku kepada orang kita.
diharap suatu hari nanti lagu negaraku akan berjaya berkumandang di pentas olimpik.

Sukan , sememangnya dapat menyatukan warganegara.

time.

is moving quickly... very quickly.
I started working on February and woooshhh now it's near August.

I don't know about others,
but since I'm working, life has been like a fast spinning routine.

wake up early,
work til late night.
sleep.
and then wake up again...

and today I decided to sit and look back at what's happening around me..

father is working extra shift because he need to replace his injured colleague.
he shouldn't be doing that, he needs to rest more.

mother's hair turned grey a bit.. sign of ageing.

my little brother who used to be loud , now enters 'rebel teenage' age. he is now quiet and controlling his macho all the time.

I need to appreciate time more,

"all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy"

fate.

It's hard to accept a fact that you've build and believe all these years,
is only just a fantasy, sweetened by lies and deceptions.

This world is harsh, but quite reasonable.
When I sit and think back of what happened,
it's better to fall and be able to back up again,
than to fall and hanged to death.

'live your life' as she says.

ps: now where's my cameraman, been waiting for an hour.

perang saraf.

cakap tidak serupa bikin.

aku tidak berminat dengan orang sebegini.

perang saraf kini bermula.

believe.

stupidity, is essential to shape characters.

it shows you, what's right,

and what's wrong.

the problem is, 

how do we, individuals, 

accept every consequences for things that we've made,

and decide how our life goes afterwards.

some learnt their lesson, some keep being stupid.

khabar.

a - "hey kau tahu tak dia ni perangai sebenarnya begitu dan begini"


a - "dia ni sebenarnya ada masalah"


a - "dia semalam begitu dan begini"

khabar angin seronok didengar, sesuai dijadikan hiburan masa lapang, juga penambah dosa kering.

b - "jadi kau dah kenal dia personally?"


a - "oh tidak, ada orang beritahu aku"


b - " ohhh..."


b - "pernah tegur dia?"


a - "tidak.."


b - "ohhh..."


..........

aku selalu jadikan cerita begini sebagai panduan, buku manual sebelum mengenali seseorang, tetapi, jauh sekali gunakan sumber ini sebagai langkah mengelakkan diri dari berkenalan.

aku percaya setiap manusia ada masalah dan sikap tersendiri.
kamu yang menyebarkan cerita pun tidak terkecuali....aku juga.

nama.

benarlah, jika kamu ada nama. semuanya mudah.

rasa seperti ditipu, BIG TIME.

ah well... I have a research to do.

a thousand smiles.

we're magnets,

we need something to complete us.

be it your loved ones, hobby, work, or even your favorite mamak stall.

it will definitely help you to overcome shits that life has given us everyday.

I'm happy for a friend today.

and I hope his other half will be able to clean up his messed up life.

so, find something that complete you.

ps: I envy those who can enjoy their life everyday. 

pusingan.

Hari ini pergi majlis perkahwinan rakan.

melihat gambar lama beliau, teringat akan album lama sendiri.

menatap balik.

rasa nostalgik menjerkah diri.

teringat cerita kejayaan dan kesilapan, kegagalan.

heh...

nanti masa kahwin aku mahu buat tema perang angkasa pula.

tapi tak tahu la bila mahu kahwin, calon pun tiada,

kalau ada pun, duit tiada.

ps: lama juga tidak berjumpa rakan lama...

bukti.

hari ini, waktu berlalu sememangnya lama,

doa dimakbulkan rasanya.

seronok melihat rakan-rakan gembira.

dalam gembira, timbul sesal.

dari banyak aspek,

perkara, boleh menjadi lebih baik sebenarnya.

"bagaimanapun hidup perlu diteruskan."

sekarang mahu tumpu beli barang-barang yang berada dalam wishlist pula.

sambutan.

hidup seharian berlalu begitu pantas,
tanpa sedar bahawa, aku masih bergelar pelajar.
Esok, aku pinta masa berlalu lambat,
mahu nikmati saat-saat terakhir di menara gading,

sebelum rutin hidup kembali seperti biasa.

don't you agree?

we're all used to say this with glorious tone,

'I want to change this world to a better place'


Until reality checks in.
few survived though.

inspiration.

I used to watch lots of movies for inspiration.
now, I haven't got much time to watch one.

Going to places far away,
broaden my perspective.
Ideas comes into mind
like water pouring into a bowl.

'Jauh Perjalanan, Luas Pandangan'


but the problem is,
I don't goes out often.

am thinking to buy a good book,
and be inspired by it.
but will it be enough?

I have no time.
I need to find a time.

so how to be inspired constantly?

by compliment?

by playing music?

a good supportive women who love me?

women?

love?

women.. no, not now.
am not ready for this shit.

knowing.

In order to know a person's heart,

we can always ask people on how good or bad he/she really is in their eyes.

but, we can't just stop right there,

give the person, a chance, to show what their true colors.

in the same time, be careful.

words of mouth,it can be good or bad.

steps.

you can't never please everyone.

staying true to yourself til the end, is the best way.

or is it?

yep.

I remember trying to talk to you in highschool
couldnt even get a look cos you were too cool
but now were older were playing by the new rules
we lived and learned!

layers.

I think, I enjoy with how things goes right now.

productivity. meeting new things.

I think I'm starting to love my job.

.

though the future is unpredictable,

but I think it's better to live your life now, than to always worry about tomorrow.

for now, I hope I will be not be to indulged with work,

that I forget there's more to life than working.

and now, I have to wait patiently for my first salary. =.=

fool.

In order to be smart,

one must experience total foolishness,

so that they can make better decisions in the future.

seperti biasa.

Hari ni tiada beza.
tapi aku bukan anti hari ini.
peduli apa aku hari ini.
menyampah aku lihat kebanyakan manusia penggerak hate hari ini.

Hipokrit, kebanyakannya.

Macam biasa, aku masih mengejar mimpi.
cuma kali ini di harap rezeki akan datang awal sikit.

Tak sanggup lagi mahu menyusahkan yang tersayang.

nasib.

Rezeki setiap individu berbeza.

betul.

Kalau kau anggap dunia ini tidak adil,

kau bodoh.

Malas aku nak memberi contoh kasihan kanak-kanak di Afrika.

Kamu semua sudah tahu.

Aku syukur atas segala yang terjadi sekarang,

walaupun banyak perkara yang terjadi sejak kebelakangan ini,

membuat aku sangsi tentang hala tuju hidup aku.

Hari ini, terdengar khabar individu yang tidak pernah aku tegur,

meninggal dunia.

maut datang secara tiba-tiba.

Justeru membuat aku berfikir,

nyawa kita, juga satu rezeki.

seperti arwah,

beliau juga mungkin mempunyai impian duniawi,

impian yang tak mungkin beliau dapat gapai sekarang.

Jadi,

kita masih hidup, masih ada peluang untuk menggapai segala impian,

bebas mewarnakan hidup kita sendiri.

tidak kiralah mahu ber-isterikan Mila Kunis ka, ataupun mahu menjadi tauke Gelang Ajaib,

tetapi selagi kita masih hidup, masih bernyawa,

peluang tetap ada,

Usaha,

dan rezeki akan datang.

walau bukan dengan cara yang kamu mahukan,

tapi mungkin, 

dengan cara lain.

positive thinking brother

Al-Fatihah -  Daim bin Jamaluddin (akas) 

susah sebenarnya

untuk mengelakkan diri dari tidak dikata dan difitnah,

adalah perkara paling mustahil untuk dilakukan.

jadi dahulu, aku pernah buat satu resolusi baru,

resolusi untuk diri sendiri.

elak diri dari berkata buruk tentang orang lain.

tampak senang, tapi susah.

aku jadi penat bila lihat kawan, menjadi lawan.

individu yang sebenarnya baik atau tidaklah sejahat mana pun, 

jatuh dan dipulau,

hanya kerana khabar angin yang berpunca dari kata-kata,

yang mulanya ringan, terus berat.

betul, kadang kata-kata ini sangat perlu,

untuk beri peringatan, tentang apa yang akan berlaku jika kamu

berkawan dengan seseorang yang dimaksudkan itu.

tetapi cara penyampaiannya perlu lah dengan cara yang baik,

menasihati, bukan menghasut.

tapi kata-kata bukan mudah untuk di elak.

aku sendiri selalu buat.

betul.

tapi aku cuba kawal. 

terpulang pada kamu semua untuk menilai,

jika kamu bercerita pada aku,
cuba lihat,

adakah cerita kamu itu akan tersebar keesokan harinya atau tidak.

jika kamu hanya bercerita pada aku lah.

tapi jika hari itu kamu sudah bercerita kepada 100 orang yang bertuah.

mungkin kamu perlu mula 'menghitung' kesan kelakuan kamu.

dan mula muhasabah diri.

terima kasih.

start.

Things will be different from now on.

There's no more fantasy and ambition.

Only plans and executions.

I might miss my old routine.

but it is enough to think that things can only get better if I put my soul in it.

Well, if it's not getting any better,

finding a way to escape from it is better than whining 24/7,

about how cruel life is.

am really hope to get out from this mess soon.

It's time to start doing what I am planning to do since forever,

to achieve the best, and be happy in life.

well, if I can't be the best, I'm content with being happy instead. 

january.

is not the month I hoped it would be.

unproductive, no fun, too much drama.

still waiting for the offer though,

I miss the excitement of making stories,

meeting people,

seeing new things.

I hope I can land the job.

circles.

No matter what happens,

They will eventually fall for stupid unreasonable things.

good educations and experiences don't matter.

'Interesting' they say.

they can only see that these articles can bring them... 

happiness,

with complete false promises.

manipulated.

then they raged with words of blame and hate.

only to fall again right after that.

and I can only say,

It would be a never ending boring repetitions.

if you choose to stay with it.

stability.

I hope I can achieve that this year.

politics.

The truth hurts, they say.
but at least, it teaches me to be careful next time.

If only I can turn back the time,
I will change my decision,
and made it all for myself than think about others,

revenge is sweet they say,
but I will not opt for it.
time will heal,
and positive things will happen for sure.

for now, it is all you,
all you,

despite everything that happens,
I will pray for our success.
Nope, I will not do anything,
trust me.

mulut.

Dunia ini tidak berputar mengikut paksi yang kamu mahukan.

bukan semua manusia lahirnya untuk jadi sempurna.

jika semua perlu mengikut acuan yang kamu mahu.

bosan dan tiada berwarna lah.

sedih betul.

ps: avoid heavily judgemental people, people.

new year resolution.

1440 x 900










okay, lame joke is lame.

2011 has been amazing, really.
I wish 2012 to be a breakthrough year.
and yes, to be less hopeful of the unknown, I need to love myself more.

ps: it's still not the time to experiment though, but who knows?

rezeki.

Lebih baik terus mengemukakan fakta, 

dari terus menyalut janji dengan krim susu pekat manis yang kemungkinan besar, 

sudah terlepas tarikh luput.

keep calm, and carry on.

fine.

nope, not the 'saman' one.

let's move on to the next topic shall we?

bermuka-muka.

Itu bahaya.
perlu lebih berhati-hati selepas ini.

lights.

The canvas so colorful before,

are now looking bleak.

the rhythm now,

are not as it use to be.

is it time, or situation ?

that cause the path so bright,

turn gloomy and uncertain now?

questions, predictions,

lingers around my room of thought,

of what will happen next.

"to be or not to be? that is the questions"

ah, I need an inspiration now,

journey.

I wish I can leave all this for a moment,

pack my things, and goes wherever I can.

I feel empty. 

demotivated.

or just maybe I'm too comfortable with things right now.

I don't like it.

masa itu.

pantas.
tidak akan berulang.

pilih.
sama ada ingin lemas kaku ditinggalkan arus.
atau bangun berlawan.

pilih.
untuk menikmati.
atau mati.

reflect.

Maturity is crucial.

it determines every decision one has to make everyday.

it shaped what people sees about an individual.

and it also help someone from doing something that can ruin his image.

So far,

I think,

I'm not matured enough.

but I wonder does maturity grows with age?

because I'm confuse as there are still people who I find,

to be older and matured but, somehow they are,

not matured enough to conclude the meaning behind everything.

so does maturity grows with age?

or maturity itself divided into several categories?

what is the meaning of maturity really?

ah whatever.

I don't know.

but what I do know is,

I'll take everything that I've done as a lesson,

to be better.

screaming and spreading out people's weakness is not my style.

changes.

changes we need.

but too much of it, is not good either.

Things must be kept in balance,

or else, the old stuff will feel that it's no longer be the priority it was back then.

sigh,

assurance.

Weeks gone by..

and I can't believe I've been here for months.

yes, I am exhausted.

but what's need to be done must be done.

I've worked hard.

It's up to decision makers to choose, whether I am worthy or not.

 

sometimes

mahu tidur awal hari ini.
cuba tengok esok akan rasa best atau tidak.

rasanya aku perlu buat twitter account. tidak tahu mahu tulis apa dah panjang-panjang.

first baby.

long sigh of relief.
is the only thing that I can do now.

I'm glad, that I've taken up the challenge.
It's true what they say.
All the pain and suffering that you've endured before,
will all be forgotten soon after it goes on air.

This will be a very late promo.
watch MAGSEVEN at tonton.com.my.
episode 24.
thanks.

fast.

Today and yesterday,
will simply not be the same.

confidence.

skills alone can't guarantee success in your life,
hence, experience plays vital role in determining your every actions.
I've followed someone with huge experience in his hand today.
and for that, I respects his every move and decisions.

and yes, I'll try to learn as much as I can.

visit his blog - http://www.mazidulakmal.com/

tolong.

kadang,
aku juga tak faham.
kalau sudah susah sangat. tutup sahajalah.
bukan tidak mahu tolong.
tapi rasanya sudah penat.
dan kecewa juga barangkali.

adakah tidak faham?
yang aku memerlukan sangat hari ini.
hari untuk aku senyum sepanjang hari.
esok sudah pasti aku sibuk kembali.

tidak sabar aku untuk berdiri sendiri.
kerana pada masa itu,
aku akan nyatakan sendiri,
apa yang aku rasa selama ini.
terima kasih.

pace.

here,
people seems to walk faster than usual,
so I have to adapt with the pace too,
in order to not be left behind.

there are still much to learn,
so far, I'm happy,
and I hope things will be okay,
though I know the worst is still yet to come.

and they say

without motivation, you will be weak, no matter how strong and intelligent you are.

I second that.

so I will motivate myself yet again,
with dreams and objective.
so that I can prove the world to the fact that,

David,
can really kick that Goliath ass.

epic ride.

It has been fun. so fun that I forgot, I left some of my stress-stuff hover around this space.
yeah, the dilemma of academic writing is done. long ago.
I just write it away and send what I think is best.
the result is quite okay, but not enough to make me smile.

but it's okay.
considering that this last two month is the best months in my life this year.
friends, works, and activities, endless fun.
made me smile once more.

but the fun made not to last,
this will end soon,
and I will start the journey on another world.
full with unknown possibilities.

I feel like staying.
but staying limit my thoughts.
so I'll go and experience things on the other side,
even though they say life is hard over there,
but I will deny that,
in order to grow and reach what I thought is the top.

tulis.taip.

dear blog,

long time no see.

wait for it.

wait for it.

it's raining.

outside and inside.

surprise.

you will experience an unexpected things happens in your life sometimes,
and you know that things will never be the same again after that.

I guess from now on,
I'll sit, and watch what will happen after this.
good luck.

fight.

I will fight.
I will try to break free from this annoyance with all my might.

Complaining about how unlucky I am will not help me graduate.

I've been dealing with this thing for years, 

and yes, I'm sure I am not loving it.

I don't see any use of this thing in the future I want to pursue, 

and I wonder why they kept implementing it every year.

Academic Writing. I hate you.

infinity loop.

It will never end.

I need to break free immediately.

motivation

man. I need something to motivate me.


"ptptn. cepat sikit boleh tak? banyak duit nak kena pakai ni"


edited 11/2/11. thank you.

tonight.

desu!

GACHA-LOVE!

my band's first single! do support us and give us your comments :)

you can also download the single here -> http://www.mediafire.com/?jh3zrjqa3n7a07d

acapella.

you can say whatever you want man. but I love acapella. and they did good. Good enough to make watch they sing till the end. despite Justin's ugly hair. hahah!

ps: Syarmin Lee. kamu senasib dengan Justin Timberlake rupanya.

otherside.

travelling.

costly. yet, I find it to be very interesting.

the feeling and the chances of seeing something new, tasting different foods, experiencing other cultures and norms fascinates me.

but the fact that I'm just a regular guy who relies on ptptn and his parent money to study and do anything else.. sigh.

I'm frustrated.

but hey, patience and hard work is the key right?

wait world. in a few years time. I'll invade you and learn things that I could never learn in my own home.

just you wait, you.

pandai.

saya tak pandai bercakap. saya tak pandai berkata-kata.
saya lagi suka terus buat dan buktikan.
tapi saya sedar, apa yang saya buat ini tak cukup,
saya pelajar, boleh tunggu tak?
bila saya stabil, awak cakap saja.
saya terus kota.

tapi sedih, buat saja tidak cukup.
kata-kata itu juga penting akhirnya.

kalau kamu kata mahu pergi dan tak mahu saya lagi. cakap saja. tak perlu tunggu salah.jelas kut nampak saya tahu dah. tunggu masa saja nak angkat kaki pergi. dan sekarang lah masanya. terima kasih. jumpa lagi.

23

I use to wonder and guess

"What will I be years from now?"

I guess the question remains the same until now.

Well anyway this age will mark the last year that I will be in school. Unless, if I wanted to pursue Masters later on. For now, I think I have enough spending 90% of my life studying. This year is my last chance to prepare for the real world, and I hope I will be prepared.

and yes, I do really hope for a better luck.

wahai pemberi pinjaman.

diharap kamu boleh menyenangkan hidup saya awal sikit dalam minggu ini juga. banyak perkara perlu diselesaikan ni.

2010

A breakthrough year I must say. Things learned. Mistakes done. Experience earned.
Like always, I wish for a better year in 2011. Please.

facepalm.

wish.

I wish things will be better than this.

Yumecolors new video.

yes, a new video.

spirit.

"Kita sebenarnya sayang dan sanggup saja berhabis duit dan masa untuk negara kita. Cuma wakil-wakil kita itu yang selalu buat rasa sayang kita makin berkurang."

Harap mereka tak menghampakan kita lagi kali ni.

dahulu.

I miss this.

The days when we are eager to accomplish all things at once and learn many throughout the way.

L

newyearwhut?

I guess, I'll end up being alone in new year's eve.





just like before.

excuse.

I knew it.
you're just waiting for it to happen and there you go.
so fast, so easy.

"dah malas. bye"

well, I guess I was right all along.
I just want to know how fast is your reaction anyway. That's all.
You're not like this before.

ps: and I am not planning to be nice to anybody at all pun.

better.

It's better to just die.

than to experience life-threatening accidents. over and over again.
trust me, I know.

.

It's like a cancer.
from a simple "."
can turn and destroy one's life.


just from a simple "."
simple. 

tepu.

Rasanya,
otak dah tepu kot
semangat dah kurang kot

apa yang aku tahu sekarang,
wang, wang, wang.
kalau tidak hidup kau,
terhuyung hayang terhuyung hayang.

Tinggal lagi setahun,
apa yang perlu ambil tahu,
aku ambil tahu.

apa yang tidak perlu.
aku malas.