freezed.

I have a problem,

despite my job,

I'm a bit socially awkward.

I tend to be quiet with people I don't know..

I don't usually be like 

'hey how are you?'

'today is hot eh?'

'tak balik lagi?'

dah makan?'

I thought those lines were silly, and too mainstream.

and because I couldn't come up with something better,

staying quiet is the best choice.

I need an igniter,

people who just spit out those mainstream lines,

so that I can connect and engage a conversation with them.

Today,

while waiting for a recording tape,

I tried to engage in a conversation with a lady,

and like usual,

I failed to think of a pickup lines  conversation starter.

gotta man up next time.

and maybe use those mainstream silly lines for a try.

Pray

Bashing an institution through a social media...
couldn't help all the innocent people being tortured over there.

Pray.

or go there, help them survive.

Sheesh, and I can only talk.

Stripes.

Often I thought about my future.
Will people recognize me when I'm dead?
Will I be able to stamp a mark in this life?

and be remembered?

I need to make a name for myself on this planet before I'm gone.

loser.

losing things,

is not what I am aiming for ...

but in order to win, 

we must first taste defeat.

taken for granted.

It's sad to see something that you've sacrificed with your whole heart,

is taken by granted.

no appreciation.

but above that, it's much sadder to see something similar but less spectacular gets the credit.

so sad.

so sad.

lesson learned.

the best thing..

I'm not a journalist who often travel hunting for stories every week,

due to visual editorial work, I couldnt.. yep.

but so far, the best thing about being a journalist is..

you can see and experience things ordinary people couldn't.

despite the harsh reality of its small pay and uncertain working hours,

that is what keep me going..

"can you see yourself still working here in 10 years time?"

I could not promise you that, but for the moment, 

yeah, this is the place I'm most suitable.

ps: andd I need to buy a smartphone-lah.

the truth is ..

I didn't really recover..

image

So do we need to project a good self image to be accepted?

if so then, what kind of good self image is to be accepted?

time is gold.

"This workplace is like a broken time machine, it goes fast forward to the future, not back to the past.

don't be too indulged with your job, find other attachment too.

because if you don't, soon you will realize you're hitting 40 +, without anyone besides you yet"



tapi boss.. saya baru 7 bulan masuk kerja....

open up.

is not something I can do,
I'm not the person who just sit and throw all of my important personal story on anyone.
just ask anybody who close to me,

"ego dia sebesar lautan"

and that's the kind of answer you shall receive.




The statement is right, and also wrong at the same time.

refleksi.

Semua mahukan yang sempurna sebagai partner.
expectation pula bermacam-macam.
tapi diri sendiri bagaimana?
menepatikah expectation sang partner?
sempurnakah diri? sudah cukup ilmu?
harta? stabilkah emosi?


aku belum.

"When you smile, the corners of your mouth curve up and you sometimes show your teeth. People smile when they are pleased or amused, or when they are being friendly.  "

...or when they are being friendly.

salam.

"hah! maksud iftar tu pun tak tahu? apa punya meleis lah"



pada aku, muslim, atau individu yang baik, adalah mereka yang menerangi jalan bagi mereka yang jahil dengan niat suci,
dengan penuh senyuman.

bukan dengan perli, dan juga kutukan.

apa salahnya jika orang kurang berpengetahuan itu bertanya?
bukankah elok jika kamu suluhkan ilmu kepada dia, terangkan dengan baik.

bukan mengejek, dan memperlihatkan kepada orang ramai tentang kejahilan dia.
bagaimana mahu memperlihatkan sisi islam yang baik pada umum jika kita sendiri berperangai begini?

salam.

tahniah warganegara Malaysia.

kerana kebanyakan kamu berfikiran positif terhadap atlet yang kalah berjuang.

betapa bangganya aku kepada Dato LCW, bangga lagi aku kepada orang kita.
diharap suatu hari nanti lagu negaraku akan berjaya berkumandang di pentas olimpik.

Sukan , sememangnya dapat menyatukan warganegara.

time.

is moving quickly... very quickly.
I started working on February and woooshhh now it's near August.

I don't know about others,
but since I'm working, life has been like a fast spinning routine.

wake up early,
work til late night.
sleep.
and then wake up again...

and today I decided to sit and look back at what's happening around me..

father is working extra shift because he need to replace his injured colleague.
he shouldn't be doing that, he needs to rest more.

mother's hair turned grey a bit.. sign of ageing.

my little brother who used to be loud , now enters 'rebel teenage' age. he is now quiet and controlling his macho all the time.

I need to appreciate time more,

"all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy"

fate.

It's hard to accept a fact that you've build and believe all these years,
is only just a fantasy, sweetened by lies and deceptions.

This world is harsh, but quite reasonable.
When I sit and think back of what happened,
it's better to fall and be able to back up again,
than to fall and hanged to death.

'live your life' as she says.

ps: now where's my cameraman, been waiting for an hour.

perang saraf.

cakap tidak serupa bikin.

aku tidak berminat dengan orang sebegini.

perang saraf kini bermula.

believe.

stupidity, is essential to shape characters.

it shows you, what's right,

and what's wrong.

the problem is, 

how do we, individuals, 

accept every consequences for things that we've made,

and decide how our life goes afterwards.

some learnt their lesson, some keep being stupid.

khabar.

a - "hey kau tahu tak dia ni perangai sebenarnya begitu dan begini"


a - "dia ni sebenarnya ada masalah"


a - "dia semalam begitu dan begini"

khabar angin seronok didengar, sesuai dijadikan hiburan masa lapang, juga penambah dosa kering.

b - "jadi kau dah kenal dia personally?"


a - "oh tidak, ada orang beritahu aku"


b - " ohhh..."


b - "pernah tegur dia?"


a - "tidak.."


b - "ohhh..."


..........

aku selalu jadikan cerita begini sebagai panduan, buku manual sebelum mengenali seseorang, tetapi, jauh sekali gunakan sumber ini sebagai langkah mengelakkan diri dari berkenalan.

aku percaya setiap manusia ada masalah dan sikap tersendiri.
kamu yang menyebarkan cerita pun tidak terkecuali....aku juga.

nama.

benarlah, jika kamu ada nama. semuanya mudah.

rasa seperti ditipu, BIG TIME.

ah well... I have a research to do.