factory.

I am now doing live program.

It was exciting at first...

... but it could never beat the satisfaction of completing a documentary.

It is hard to be a journalist/story teller in this country. Where few appreciate things you've done, even your big boss doesn't seems to see the potential of our department.

When I see the big numbers of cash top managements splash on movies and entertainment stuff... I can only wonder what we, documentary makers can do with that amount of money...

... and How far can we dig onto the story.

Frustrating, but I think this is what life is now.

I hope the future is there for us.

of past and present.

I will be lying if I've never think about how it will be if I take the other options in life.

The other decisions.

What if I turns back time, and make different calls in life.
Will it be different? Will I be happier?

It's not that I'm not happy with how things going now.
It's just that these past weeks I have been thinking what will happen if my life turns the other way.

Curiosity. Curious. Ingin tahu, sungguh.

Qaseh Khadijah

21 January 2018, 8:58AM.

When I hold her tight in my arm...
... My whole world, priority and perspective changes.

It is surreal. I don't know how to describe it fully.

As I started my azan, she looks directly at me.
Just the three of us, in the labor room.
it was beautiful moment, the one I won't ever forget.
She kept quiet throughout the azan, calmly listening.
It felt like she understands every words that I recites.

Allahu Akbar.

I am not a perfect person, but I will try to be one for her.
I know this will be a tough year for us.
but, I will make sure you will grow up happy.
Daddy and Mommy will be here for you...

... our dear Qaseh Khadijah.