Friday, November 18, 2016


Have you ever wondered if there are any alternate universe of your life?
Universe which created upon every decision you have made throughout your whole life.

I always think, what happen if I chose B instead of A,
If I decide not to entertain the text from a girl I knew 6 years ago,
If I decide to walk away from broadcasting industry,

If I decide, 4 years ago not to text that girl, whom I though was living in Kuching but instead she is from the States above the wind,
If I decide to stay with that girl, and go through challenges which I believe is impossible.

What if?

A simple question that always haunt most of us,

Not that I'm regretting the path I have now.
I'm grateful.

It's just sometimes curiosity can led us to think about things that didn't matter anymore,
worse, it can led us to abandon things that matter.

I wish I am not that kind of person.

Thursday, November 17, 2016


I tend to be overlooked at.
I don't know, on every circles of friends I'm in, I will tend to be overlooked at.

It's not that they didn't recognize or even favors me, but in any scenario I will be the last person they want to be together with.

"The last straw ... the last option,"

"least preferred to be with"

Not that they hate me, but I believe that I don't have much chemistry with most people, or I chose not to try that chemistry, I don't know.

... and now I just realized that it's not just in the circles of friends, but family too.

Sad, but I can accept it, 

I want things to go my way, I didn't really think I should do this and that to accomplish things.
I want to live on my own accord.
I may seem normal, but my mind is not.

It's frustrated that when it comes to others help will come in abundance, but not me.

Somehow, I am okay with this. I guess I am adapting...

... to live with my own accord.

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

A new dawn.

I still remember, at this exact same month, last year, I was a different person.

My set of goals is different, my mindset is different and I don't believe in commitments before getting rich.

Guess it's going to change now,
I don't know, people change.

It's the order of nature, things will change...

... and hopefully it's for the better.